The Art of Miscommunication

Why is it that the people that we talk to the most can be those we communicate with the least? I feel like I am a perpetual communicator: always talking things out, brainstorming, discussing... Whereas others answer vaguely, withhold information, refuse to participate, etc. Is the lack of communication intentional? Or do they really think simple and inadequate is enough to keep a conversation going or find a solution? Is it just a lack of effort? Maybe a general disinterest?

Whatever it may be, I encounter it daily and it drives me crazy. When having a conversation we should be able to talk about the subject, bring up specifics as needed, uncover or discover things we may not have known. It doesn't require too much effort. Instead, I'm asking question after question trying to drag answers out of people.

And as much as I hate to say it, my areas of miscommunication seem to be related to gender. I'm never one to stereotype based on sex, however gender is a different story. We're all socialized to think boys and girls act differently, excel in different areas, and have different characteristics. Girls learn early on they are supposed to be talkers, problem solvers and mediators. Boys are the doers. So despite the fact that gendered stereotypes are less extreme, these subtle differences remain and make communication between men and women a difficult task.

Lace 'Em Up!

I'm making a New Years resolution in April. It may be a bit unorthodox but that's how I roll. I plan to run as many charitable races as I can moving forward. The local 5ks are fun, but I've recently graduated to bigger races. A few weeks ago I ran the Cooper River Bridge Run in Charleston with 40,000 people. It was incredible! The energy and excitement was enough to keep anyone going, not to mention I loved being out there with my friends doing something to benefit both myself and my community. My registration fee went toward the American Cancer Society.

Cooper River Bridge, Charleston SC

Pre Run

Land Rover Hilton Head will be sponsoring the below races that I will be participating in:


May 15 - Low Country Trail Run
June 25 - Run Bike Run & 5K of the Lowcountry
July 4th - 26th Firecracker 5000
Oct 9th - Buzzard Island Adventure Run
Oct 23rd - 20th Hilton Head Bridge Run 5K & 10K
Oct 29th - Bluffton Zombie Mile


Throw in a Beach Bum Triathlon, maybe a Turtle Trot and I'm gonna be in great shape!


Now I just need to train.

Post 10k Celebration

Who Doesn't Like a Good Parable?

In my attempts to step up my frugality a notch, I visited a thrift shop in search of a few items I needed. I'd much rather re-use something than waste the resources on producing a new, more expensive one. In reality I probably spent more money that day than if I hadn't walked through the door of Off Island Thrift because I probably wouldn't have shopped anywhere else. Still, there's something exciting about circling the crowded shelves of a second-hand shop, weaving through the retirees and looking for that diamond in the rough. We all dream of finding that one item, unique and exactly what we needed, skipping up to the counter and happily paying a few bucks for it. I had no such luck.

The furniture selection was dismal (I was looking for a bookshelf), the bedding and mattress area is still giving me nightmares, and one can only have so many chachkis. So I spent the majority of my time perusing the book section. Used books are an absolute favorite of mine! After purchasing almost all of my books second-hand in college I've made it a habit. They're cheaper, sometimes you find interesting or insightful notes, and there's something nostalgic about reading a book with ruffled pages that has obviously been enjoyed time and time again.

One of the books I came home with is a parable about coping with change. Who Moved My Cheese, by Spencer Johnson, is an adorable tale about two mice and two humans living in a maze searching for cheese. Occasionally their cheese supply gets moved and they must search all corners of the maze (even the dark and scary ones) to find the new supply. They must adapt and use their instincts.

At only 96 pages (several with illustrations), the book is a quick read with an easy message: In order to reach you goals (cheese), you have to be willing to change. You have to go out and search for it, put forth some effort and run through the maze. You can't be afraid of trying different things and leaving your comfortable little corner. Only then will you be able to reap the benefits.

With such an easy message I feel frustrated that I regularly encounter people who simply can't adopt this philosophy. They like the way they do things, they have a routine, they've been doing it for twenty years...blah, blah, blah. It's impossible to grow while resisting change and new ideas. Becoming complacent with your dated ways can be very destructive.

Try something new. If it doesn't workout and you find yourself falling, pick yourself up, dust off your knees and keep going. Isn't this something we all learned as children? Applying it to our professional and personal lives is just as simple. It just takes an open mind.

As you can see, I found this book very relatable to my life. And in several ways: professionally, personally, even physically. I definitely recommend it. I found mine for just $3. Click Here to find it on Amazon.com.

Although I also walked away from the thrift store with a Nicholas Sparks novel, I'm suddenly in search for other books that will help me professionally. On my Amazon wish list: The One Minute Manager, The Go-Giver, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and Coaching Sales People into Sales Champions.

One last note: the mice have jogging suits and running shoes. It's adorable.

Together, yea

With so many things uncertain in my life, I feel incredibly fluid but still grounded. Evolving but stable. Earnest but nonchalant. I'm burning to change, desirous to grow but undeniably happy with how things are.
We could pick up and move half way around the world and I would still have stability while facing new challenges. I've never felt so confident.
I suppose my new-found courage is a result of being an "us" rather than an "I." I know whatever challenge comes my way, I now have four feet to stand on, rather than two. That is the ultimate security. He believes in me, and I trust him. Together, we can do anything, go anywhere, be whoever we want to be and still be "us."

Time for a Change

We've all experienced those days: the kind when nothing in your closet looks fit to wear, you hate all of your shoes, your hair looks drab and mundane, and you simple lack that confident glow. I had 7 of those days in a row, and decided it's time to shake things up a bit. On todays agenda? Tackling my mess of a closet and freeing it of all it's unfashionable items. I'm in no way the most fashion-savvy woman, but some hoodies from college, tops that show stomach, and sweaters from 10 years ago have got to go! And why do I have 3 pairs of running shoes? I replace them every few months because their worn out and hard on my feet. In the garbage they go!

Old skirts, pants that don't fit, shorts a 26-year-old should not be seen in, tiny t-shirts and the like will all be donated and hopefully reused. It's time for me to start dressing and looking my age. And along the way I'm sure I'll find items I forgot I had that would love to be worn again.

I've started wearing make-up to work everyday, too. In the past I would shower, put my hair up into a messy bun, get dressed, put on flats and head to work with a bare face. The last few weeks, however, I've made it a point to put on at least mascara and blush because it really does make me look older and more professional. It also makes me feel pretty and will help when Im having the above mentioned type of days.

My final step has been the most drastic so far: changing my hair. I debated for weeks on what route to take. A cute bob? Drastic bangs? Maybe just change my part. Highlights? Or low lights? And then I decided to go dark. Darker then I've ever been. I set the appointment and anxiously waited. My hairdresser was excited when I told her I wanted a dark chocolate brown, the color of my father's hair, with lots of layers for extra body.

An hour later my hair was DARK RED! Yup. A color I'm not sure I've ever seen before. If it would have been fall I could've gotten lost in a see of changing maple leaves. My hairdresser explained that they always mix red in with the dark brown color in order to cover up the lighter parts of a client's hair. We had no idea that my hair naturally pulls red because of the red undertones I acquired from my mother. She reapplied the brown and within an hour I was darker, but still with a tint of red.

I have to say, it looks pretty bad-ass. But I'm not sure about the red. I have a few days to decide if a return visit is necessary for another brown application.

One thing is for sure; the changes have made me feel fresh and new. It's exciting and playful to try new things, and I'm loving it. The next step will have to be a shopping trip. Maybe I'll tackle that next month.

A Work-Life Balance

I hear myself using this phrase more and more everyday. Thanks to my good friend Emily, I've realized that having a balance between work and life is crucial to one's happiness and overall well-being. Of course, I already knew this, but was too wrapped up in trying to succeed to realize I had been neglecting to apply it in my own life.
Working 6 days a week, 10 to 12-hour days, and working through lunch have left both my husband and myself exhausted and somewhat absent from our personal lives. But we're working toward our goals. First, to finish paying for the wedding and eventually buy a new (well, slightly used) car. We'd also like to make sure we're comfortable enough to be able to start a family. But at the rate we're going, will a family even be possible?

Will our family be able to work when Mom gets home at 8pm, irritable because she didn't get to go to the gym that day, and forced to pack making dinner and chores into 2 hours? Will our family be happy when Daddy gets home at 9pm after being elbow-deep in an engine all evening? Exhausted and filthy he has to eat quickly in order to shower and be in bed by 11pm, only to wake up and do it all over again the next day.
That doesn't sound like a happy or healthy family life to me.

So what do we do to change it?

There's been a lot of talk recently about having a baby. We bring it up, our friends and family bring it up...and it's something we desperately want. Still, I can't see myself having a child and working the way we do now. How do others handle it? Sure, I could work less, perform worse at my job, make less money, and be home more. But how does that benefit us financially? If I result to that is raising a family even something we can afford?

But we love our jobs, and we're thankful for the opportunity to succeed! We both recently have been presented with some very good opportunities. Which is why we don't want to give it up. Rather, I'd like to find a way to make it all work. Can we have it all?

I'm really just venting here. I guess I'm using this blog more as a journal. I know it won't give me any divine solutions. It won't magically pay me more so I can work less. But it will allow me to get some things off of my chest on my Sunday morning off, while having coffee on my back patio. This is my first step to a work-life balance.

Finding a Passion

I'm not afraid to admit that I absolutely love tattoos. They're not as taboo as they used to be, but rather are becoming quite common place. One might think, "well, why get one if they're so common?" I'm not suggesting we all run out and get dolphins on our ankles or "mom" in a heart on our forearms. I love tattoos because it's an opportunity for expression and uniqueness.  If you have a vision and either yourself or someone you know can draw it out for you, you can create something that will capture a moment in time on your body forever. If your moment is a purple smurf, well, that's totally up to you. My most recent "moment," which sadly was almost 2 years ago, was a phrase that is incredibly important to me.


I've always been fond of the aesthetics of the Arabic language. No, I may not be able to speak it, but when written I feel it's truly beautiful. I decided to have the phrase "live with passion" tattooed vertically down the right side of my ribs in Arabic. In my opinion, which is all that matters in this situation, it's stunning and inspiring. Not just the tattoo itself, but the message.


Finding something to be passionate about, and living it, will make one's life rich and rewarding. In my opinion, too many people go about their days miserable with the paths they've chosen. They do what they do to get by, often without any desire, drive, or even interest. This can apply to both personal and professional situations, and it saddens me. So I've given myself a constant reminder that I should live passionately. That I should love what I do and do it for a purpose. Whether your passion is helping the unfortunate, adopting pets, raising your family, providing health care to the elderly... it's important and worthwhile if you feel you're doing the right thing and enjoy it. It's living with purpose, passion, integrity, and a strong sense of self that will bring you joy and make your life richer. Even if you're collecting a measly paycheck while doing it.


My passion has always been education. If I could  afford it, I'd be a full-time, life-long student. I loved undergrad and I loved grad school. I can't wait for the day to go back and get my PhD. I've learned more in my Liberal Arts studies that, though it may be difficult to apply in the "real world," have made me much more open-minded, smart, and comprehensive.  A liberal arts education isn't a specific discipline that you master. It's a way of thinking, a way of learning, a hunger for taking it all in, analyzing it, discussing it, writing about it, addressing problems, and coming up with solutions. I often have a hard time defining it, so I'll give you the Webster's definition: The academic course of instruction at a college intended to provide general knowledge and comprising the arts, humanities, natural sciences, and social sciences, as opposed to professional or technical subjects.


Basically, we do a lot of thinking. And I can honestly say that my liberal arts education has made my life better. It's because of this that I dream of teaching at the university level. I'm most qualified to teach Sociology, Anthropology of Media, and Women's Studies. It would be incredible to have a classroom full of students, eager to be there and learn, and provide them with materials to evaluate aspects of life, gender, religion, etc. that they never would have otherwise known. To tackle issues, open their minds, encourage debates, and have meaningful lectures. This is my dream, my passion, and one day I will get there.


Along the way, I'll find other things to be passionate about. Raising a healthy child, if I'm blessed with one, will undoubtedly top my list. Perhaps starting a business that will benefit my community in some way...who knows? The most important thing, I must stress, is that there's conviction and purpose behind what I do. 


Finding a passion is something we all should face. It's this stage in our lives when we're evaluating what has true meaning to us. Have you found your passion?