Pages

Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts

10 February 2012

The Right to Choose

I find it hard to believe that we're at this road again. The road where one must turn left or right, picking sides on the abortion debate. I personally thought this topic would never again be so heated and create so much controversy. But here it is, rearing it's ugly head from every corner of Facebook and every propaganda-driven email. Personally, I try to avoid entering into this topic of discussion online to spare myself of any future family feuds, hate emails, etc. So while I'll omit the details of my opinion, I would like to share with you the opinion of a friend of mine. The woman below, Reina, is just that: a woman. This topic means something very intimate to her because of her anatomy. This she did not choose. She is also a mother. Her motherhood, on the other hand, is something she did choose.  Below is a post I borrowed from her Facebook page that I think is very worthy of being shared.



From Reina:

"Did I ever show you guys this? I think it's kind of important. . . This is me at 22 years old, in labor with my daughter Lola. Look at the terror on that person's face. Her body was vibrating with contractions and extreme uncertainty, listening to her midwife, trying very hard not to scream and run away from everything. I think this was the first moment that I really truly realized what was aboutto happen to me. I know that sounds so incredibly immature, and I was... Man, I was the worst. The second picture is the first time i really, honestly touched my daughter with serious intent. Look at that face... I am devastated, I am so beyond moved, and terrified, and in love, and TERRIFIED. 

My heart literally shattered into five million pieces.

What I am trying to say here.. Is that when I had Lola, I was selfish enough that, while I was so incredibly happy to welcome her into this world, I was also so saddened by the end of my own life, that it took me a while to truly understand what had happened. That this person ruined me, tore me down, wrecked everything I had worked so hard to become, but thank God. Because that person was kinda awful. My life was a shit show, and she came bursting into this world and shattered it all, only to rebuild me into someone who I am insanely proud to be. To say that she saved my life is by far, the understatement of the year. Everything that she is, is everything I always wanted to be. She constantly challenges every fiber of my being, to be more, want more, live more, breathe more. 

The beautiful part is that I had the right to choose this. That deep down inside, I knew that I had the ability and support to pull myself together, and rock the shit out of motherhood. But, not everyone has the ability to do this, and their circumstances are not as cushy, and beautiful as mine. Every woman on this planet has a right to make this choice depending on their own life, and divine purpose. The only person who Can make this decision, is the woman it is happening to. And it is her right to make that decision, without anyone else butting in and giving their opinion. There.. And that, my friends, ends my serious run for the day. Back to our regular scheduled fun times."






16 January 2011

A Work-Life Balance

I hear myself using this phrase more and more everyday. Thanks to my good friend Emily, I've realized that having a balance between work and life is crucial to one's happiness and overall well-being. Of course, I already knew this, but was too wrapped up in trying to succeed to realize I had been neglecting to apply it in my own life.
Working 6 days a week, 10 to 12-hour days, and working through lunch have left both my husband and myself exhausted and somewhat absent from our personal lives. But we're working toward our goals. First, to finish paying for the wedding and eventually buy a new (well, slightly used) car. We'd also like to make sure we're comfortable enough to be able to start a family. But at the rate we're going, will a family even be possible?

Will our family be able to work when Mom gets home at 8pm, irritable because she didn't get to go to the gym that day, and forced to pack making dinner and chores into 2 hours? Will our family be happy when Daddy gets home at 9pm after being elbow-deep in an engine all evening? Exhausted and filthy he has to eat quickly in order to shower and be in bed by 11pm, only to wake up and do it all over again the next day.
That doesn't sound like a happy or healthy family life to me.

So what do we do to change it?

There's been a lot of talk recently about having a baby. We bring it up, our friends and family bring it up...and it's something we desperately want. Still, I can't see myself having a child and working the way we do now. How do others handle it? Sure, I could work less, perform worse at my job, make less money, and be home more. But how does that benefit us financially? If I result to that is raising a family even something we can afford?

But we love our jobs, and we're thankful for the opportunity to succeed! We both recently have been presented with some very good opportunities. Which is why we don't want to give it up. Rather, I'd like to find a way to make it all work. Can we have it all?

I'm really just venting here. I guess I'm using this blog more as a journal. I know it won't give me any divine solutions. It won't magically pay me more so I can work less. But it will allow me to get some things off of my chest on my Sunday morning off, while having coffee on my back patio. This is my first step to a work-life balance.