Who Doesn't Like a Good Parable?

In my attempts to step up my frugality a notch, I visited a thrift shop in search of a few items I needed. I'd much rather re-use something than waste the resources on producing a new, more expensive one. In reality I probably spent more money that day than if I hadn't walked through the door of Off Island Thrift because I probably wouldn't have shopped anywhere else. Still, there's something exciting about circling the crowded shelves of a second-hand shop, weaving through the retirees and looking for that diamond in the rough. We all dream of finding that one item, unique and exactly what we needed, skipping up to the counter and happily paying a few bucks for it. I had no such luck.

The furniture selection was dismal (I was looking for a bookshelf), the bedding and mattress area is still giving me nightmares, and one can only have so many chachkis. So I spent the majority of my time perusing the book section. Used books are an absolute favorite of mine! After purchasing almost all of my books second-hand in college I've made it a habit. They're cheaper, sometimes you find interesting or insightful notes, and there's something nostalgic about reading a book with ruffled pages that has obviously been enjoyed time and time again.

One of the books I came home with is a parable about coping with change. Who Moved My Cheese, by Spencer Johnson, is an adorable tale about two mice and two humans living in a maze searching for cheese. Occasionally their cheese supply gets moved and they must search all corners of the maze (even the dark and scary ones) to find the new supply. They must adapt and use their instincts.

At only 96 pages (several with illustrations), the book is a quick read with an easy message: In order to reach you goals (cheese), you have to be willing to change. You have to go out and search for it, put forth some effort and run through the maze. You can't be afraid of trying different things and leaving your comfortable little corner. Only then will you be able to reap the benefits.

With such an easy message I feel frustrated that I regularly encounter people who simply can't adopt this philosophy. They like the way they do things, they have a routine, they've been doing it for twenty years...blah, blah, blah. It's impossible to grow while resisting change and new ideas. Becoming complacent with your dated ways can be very destructive.

Try something new. If it doesn't workout and you find yourself falling, pick yourself up, dust off your knees and keep going. Isn't this something we all learned as children? Applying it to our professional and personal lives is just as simple. It just takes an open mind.

As you can see, I found this book very relatable to my life. And in several ways: professionally, personally, even physically. I definitely recommend it. I found mine for just $3. Click Here to find it on Amazon.com.

Although I also walked away from the thrift store with a Nicholas Sparks novel, I'm suddenly in search for other books that will help me professionally. On my Amazon wish list: The One Minute Manager, The Go-Giver, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and Coaching Sales People into Sales Champions.

One last note: the mice have jogging suits and running shoes. It's adorable.

Together, yea

With so many things uncertain in my life, I feel incredibly fluid but still grounded. Evolving but stable. Earnest but nonchalant. I'm burning to change, desirous to grow but undeniably happy with how things are.
We could pick up and move half way around the world and I would still have stability while facing new challenges. I've never felt so confident.
I suppose my new-found courage is a result of being an "us" rather than an "I." I know whatever challenge comes my way, I now have four feet to stand on, rather than two. That is the ultimate security. He believes in me, and I trust him. Together, we can do anything, go anywhere, be whoever we want to be and still be "us."

Time for a Change

We've all experienced those days: the kind when nothing in your closet looks fit to wear, you hate all of your shoes, your hair looks drab and mundane, and you simple lack that confident glow. I had 7 of those days in a row, and decided it's time to shake things up a bit. On todays agenda? Tackling my mess of a closet and freeing it of all it's unfashionable items. I'm in no way the most fashion-savvy woman, but some hoodies from college, tops that show stomach, and sweaters from 10 years ago have got to go! And why do I have 3 pairs of running shoes? I replace them every few months because their worn out and hard on my feet. In the garbage they go!

Old skirts, pants that don't fit, shorts a 26-year-old should not be seen in, tiny t-shirts and the like will all be donated and hopefully reused. It's time for me to start dressing and looking my age. And along the way I'm sure I'll find items I forgot I had that would love to be worn again.

I've started wearing make-up to work everyday, too. In the past I would shower, put my hair up into a messy bun, get dressed, put on flats and head to work with a bare face. The last few weeks, however, I've made it a point to put on at least mascara and blush because it really does make me look older and more professional. It also makes me feel pretty and will help when Im having the above mentioned type of days.

My final step has been the most drastic so far: changing my hair. I debated for weeks on what route to take. A cute bob? Drastic bangs? Maybe just change my part. Highlights? Or low lights? And then I decided to go dark. Darker then I've ever been. I set the appointment and anxiously waited. My hairdresser was excited when I told her I wanted a dark chocolate brown, the color of my father's hair, with lots of layers for extra body.

An hour later my hair was DARK RED! Yup. A color I'm not sure I've ever seen before. If it would have been fall I could've gotten lost in a see of changing maple leaves. My hairdresser explained that they always mix red in with the dark brown color in order to cover up the lighter parts of a client's hair. We had no idea that my hair naturally pulls red because of the red undertones I acquired from my mother. She reapplied the brown and within an hour I was darker, but still with a tint of red.

I have to say, it looks pretty bad-ass. But I'm not sure about the red. I have a few days to decide if a return visit is necessary for another brown application.

One thing is for sure; the changes have made me feel fresh and new. It's exciting and playful to try new things, and I'm loving it. The next step will have to be a shopping trip. Maybe I'll tackle that next month.

A Work-Life Balance

I hear myself using this phrase more and more everyday. Thanks to my good friend Emily, I've realized that having a balance between work and life is crucial to one's happiness and overall well-being. Of course, I already knew this, but was too wrapped up in trying to succeed to realize I had been neglecting to apply it in my own life.
Working 6 days a week, 10 to 12-hour days, and working through lunch have left both my husband and myself exhausted and somewhat absent from our personal lives. But we're working toward our goals. First, to finish paying for the wedding and eventually buy a new (well, slightly used) car. We'd also like to make sure we're comfortable enough to be able to start a family. But at the rate we're going, will a family even be possible?

Will our family be able to work when Mom gets home at 8pm, irritable because she didn't get to go to the gym that day, and forced to pack making dinner and chores into 2 hours? Will our family be happy when Daddy gets home at 9pm after being elbow-deep in an engine all evening? Exhausted and filthy he has to eat quickly in order to shower and be in bed by 11pm, only to wake up and do it all over again the next day.
That doesn't sound like a happy or healthy family life to me.

So what do we do to change it?

There's been a lot of talk recently about having a baby. We bring it up, our friends and family bring it up...and it's something we desperately want. Still, I can't see myself having a child and working the way we do now. How do others handle it? Sure, I could work less, perform worse at my job, make less money, and be home more. But how does that benefit us financially? If I result to that is raising a family even something we can afford?

But we love our jobs, and we're thankful for the opportunity to succeed! We both recently have been presented with some very good opportunities. Which is why we don't want to give it up. Rather, I'd like to find a way to make it all work. Can we have it all?

I'm really just venting here. I guess I'm using this blog more as a journal. I know it won't give me any divine solutions. It won't magically pay me more so I can work less. But it will allow me to get some things off of my chest on my Sunday morning off, while having coffee on my back patio. This is my first step to a work-life balance.

Finding a Passion

I'm not afraid to admit that I absolutely love tattoos. They're not as taboo as they used to be, but rather are becoming quite common place. One might think, "well, why get one if they're so common?" I'm not suggesting we all run out and get dolphins on our ankles or "mom" in a heart on our forearms. I love tattoos because it's an opportunity for expression and uniqueness.  If you have a vision and either yourself or someone you know can draw it out for you, you can create something that will capture a moment in time on your body forever. If your moment is a purple smurf, well, that's totally up to you. My most recent "moment," which sadly was almost 2 years ago, was a phrase that is incredibly important to me.


I've always been fond of the aesthetics of the Arabic language. No, I may not be able to speak it, but when written I feel it's truly beautiful. I decided to have the phrase "live with passion" tattooed vertically down the right side of my ribs in Arabic. In my opinion, which is all that matters in this situation, it's stunning and inspiring. Not just the tattoo itself, but the message.


Finding something to be passionate about, and living it, will make one's life rich and rewarding. In my opinion, too many people go about their days miserable with the paths they've chosen. They do what they do to get by, often without any desire, drive, or even interest. This can apply to both personal and professional situations, and it saddens me. So I've given myself a constant reminder that I should live passionately. That I should love what I do and do it for a purpose. Whether your passion is helping the unfortunate, adopting pets, raising your family, providing health care to the elderly... it's important and worthwhile if you feel you're doing the right thing and enjoy it. It's living with purpose, passion, integrity, and a strong sense of self that will bring you joy and make your life richer. Even if you're collecting a measly paycheck while doing it.


My passion has always been education. If I could  afford it, I'd be a full-time, life-long student. I loved undergrad and I loved grad school. I can't wait for the day to go back and get my PhD. I've learned more in my Liberal Arts studies that, though it may be difficult to apply in the "real world," have made me much more open-minded, smart, and comprehensive.  A liberal arts education isn't a specific discipline that you master. It's a way of thinking, a way of learning, a hunger for taking it all in, analyzing it, discussing it, writing about it, addressing problems, and coming up with solutions. I often have a hard time defining it, so I'll give you the Webster's definition: The academic course of instruction at a college intended to provide general knowledge and comprising the arts, humanities, natural sciences, and social sciences, as opposed to professional or technical subjects.


Basically, we do a lot of thinking. And I can honestly say that my liberal arts education has made my life better. It's because of this that I dream of teaching at the university level. I'm most qualified to teach Sociology, Anthropology of Media, and Women's Studies. It would be incredible to have a classroom full of students, eager to be there and learn, and provide them with materials to evaluate aspects of life, gender, religion, etc. that they never would have otherwise known. To tackle issues, open their minds, encourage debates, and have meaningful lectures. This is my dream, my passion, and one day I will get there.


Along the way, I'll find other things to be passionate about. Raising a healthy child, if I'm blessed with one, will undoubtedly top my list. Perhaps starting a business that will benefit my community in some way...who knows? The most important thing, I must stress, is that there's conviction and purpose behind what I do. 


Finding a passion is something we all should face. It's this stage in our lives when we're evaluating what has true meaning to us. Have you found your passion?

I Think We Should've Turned Left Back There...

In today's world, with such a great divide between the wealthy and the not-so-wealthy, it's not uncommon for us twenty-somethings to feel a growing hunger for a piece of the success pie. How do the wealthy get there? How have we gotten left behind? We're more educated than ever, have resources at our fingers tips via the web and still can't catch up! Many of us have been forced to move back in with the rents after college and settle for a mediocre job. Where did we go wrong?

Now more than ever we're questioning our future and planning our next moves meticulously. Where do we invest our $30,000 a year salaries? How can we drive something nice and keep our car payments under $200 a month? Can we afford the new PlayStation, a quality laptop, and a 3D TV? Chances are we can't afford much of what we want, but we buy them anyway. So the bills go up and our salaries are still the same.

I recently spent a day schmoozing with the wealthy at a high-end event. We were able to have intelligent conversations and get a long well. It made me wonder, how are they so different from me? Other than their $85,000 cars, 2 million dollar homes, and $200,000 boats? How did they land such successful jobs? In all fairness, many of them had quite a few years on me. But I have met many couples comparable in age with much more success than myself and my peers. I can't help feeling bewildered and discouraged. Again I ask, where did I go wrong? Was it investing in my education? Not knowing the right people?

In the early 2000s, investing in real estate was a smart move. We bought our first home, a condo priced competitively, in a desirable location with great potential for a rental property. After making a couple thousand dollars in upgrades and living in it for a few years, we moved out and rented it to a young couple in 2006. Several bad tenants later we placed it on the market for not much more than we bought it for. Two and a half years and one short sale later we're still paying on a loan we had to take out just to sell it. We're renting our new home.

This is a perfect example of a smart move gone bad by the changing climate of the economy. What many of our peers admired us for 5 years ago has turned into a wallet-draining heart ache.

So like many other twenty-somethings we're getting by, paycheck to paycheck, waiting for the opportunity to find that one thing that will make us successful. We've pondered opening a small business, but without the start-up funds have pushed that idea to the back-burner. We've leveraged for raises, worked hard for our employers, and are patiently waiting to move up the corporate ladder. And now we wait. Is that all we can do?

Along with our hunger for success, we also think about starting a family, finally buying our desperately needed SUV and more. How can we achieve it all with such little hope for success?

Our story is not unique. It's something practically every twenty-something is facing right now. It's our quarter-life crisis: drastic changes in personal relationships, facing adulthood, molding our personal identities, balancing the personal and professional, always wanting more and questioning every move we make.

Something Old and Something New

It's now November 13th, and I've been married for 22 days. Every day since we've said our vows I think about that moment I said "I do", staring into my husbands eyes. Well, it was more like squinting into his eyes because the hot Mexican sun was staring into mine. I didn't think I'd be so emotional that day, the moment my father walked into my bridal room the tears began to well up behind my perfectly manicured eye lids.

I arrived in Puerto Morelos, Mexico 2 days before the wedding. My fiance was supposed to have arrived with me, but had to push his flight back a day due to training for work. So the night before our departure I packed two large suitcases for us both and had everything ready to go by 3am. My ride was coming at 5 to take me to the airport, so with only an hour nap I tied up all my loose ends and spent some time with my dogs before saying farewell. Maneuvering through the airport with the luggage and my dress was quite comical, and even more so seeing the airport staff watching me struggle without offering to help. By 7am I was in the air and headed for my wedding destination.

Along my travels I met another bride. We recognized each other by our wedding dresses we carried around with us like trophies. With no one to share my excitement with, a dead cell phone, and the nervousness of traveling alone, I welcomed her attention and asked all the questions a bride would want to be asked. Once we arrived in Cancun, I lost my bride friend in the airport and was once again alone. A nice couple helped me with my bags through customs, though we split ways once my bags had to be searched.

Finally outside and in the warm sun, I was pleasantly greeted by my driver taking me to the hotel. Within 30 minutes I arrived at Azul beach hotel, which I quickly labeled as paradise.

I arrived at 1pm and had 2 hours before my room was ready. The staff at Azul Beach was incredible. They were sweet, helpful, and treated me like a queen. I was escorted to lunch on the main restaurants terrace. The calm breeze coming off the water, the mild 82 degree temperature, the gourmet cuisine and the bottomless champagne calmed me and assured me I was in fact in paradise. It was more prefect than I could have ever imagined. I filled the rest of my day with assembling my guests welcome bags, making bracelets with the activities staff, sipping on tropical cocktails, and spending time with 2 friends who arrived just hours after me and a day earlier than the rest of the guests. The day was long and perfect.

The next morning I awoke anxious for my friends, family, and groom to arrive. My 2 hour workout session in the hotel's gym was followed by yoga on the pier. By that time it was only noon and I had butterflies in my stomach. I can't remember the last time I was so excited. Around 2pm our 15 remaining guests began trickling in by the van-full, and I was all smiles for the remainder of the day. We shared hugs, kisses, and stories by the pool. And at 8pm we attended our "Welcome Cocktail Hour" at the Agavero Tequila Lounge. Our cocktail "hour" ended around 2am with my soon-to-be husband retiring in his Best Man's room, and my sisters joining me in mine. Although many things about our wedding were going to be nontraditional, this tradition we kept, and it made our parents happy.

With a group of 19, breakfast the following morning lasted about 2 hours with a handful showing up and exiting at any given time. We were all on vacation and no one had a schedule. Our goal was for this trip to be relaxing and special, with no pressure or obligations. The only thing everyone needed to be on time for was later that day, at 4pm on the beach.

I was surprisingly calm the entire day before the wedding. Even with the small issues that every bride faces, I laughed it off, put a smile on my face and thought about the end result of the day. I reveled in each and every moment of getting ready with my mother, sisters, and best friend.

At 3:30 we were putting the final touches on wedding day attire. I wore my grandmothers diamond earrings (borrowed), my mothers blue topaz bracelet (blue) and my great grandmothers hair pin (old) with my gorgeous strapless Nicole Miller dress (new). The next knock on the door was my father, which is when the emotions started to hit me like a ton of bricks.

Here stood my father, grinning from ear to ear in excitement. When he told me I looked beautiful I almost started to cry, but quickly stopped myself in order to keep my make-up in tact. He was always the man I most admired, the most important man in my life. I respected him, adored him, took his advice, and looked to him for comfort. He was about to give me away to a new man. And although I knew our relationship wouldn't change, and both men would be important in equal, yet separate ways, I couldn't help but get emotional. It was really happening. The day I'd been planning for a year and a half was finally here. And spending those few moments with my dad before walking down the aisle made it more real to me.

And so we walked. After my two sisters were escorted down the aisle by our Best Man, my father walked with me. It felt like a long walk. Down the wooden aisle runner covered in rose petals, through the white covered chairs with green sheers filled with people I love, past my fiance's younger brother playing an acoustic guitar, toward the man I was planning to spend my life with. He kissed me before handing me off . I turned to my older sister and best friend, handing her my tropical bouquet, then turned back to look my fiance in the eyes for the last time before he became my husband.

Nothing about getting married made me nervous. I was already fully committed to spending the rest of my life with this man, my best friend, lover and soul mate. I'd dreamed about this day for years, but never anticipated the amount of joy I would feel. As we looked at each other I smiled uncontrollably because I knew this was the best decision I had ever made.

We held hands, exchanged vows, and made sincere promises to each other. To honor and obey, through sickness and health, for better or for worse, until death do us part. We participated in a sand ceremony. We each had a jar with sand, mine blue, his tan, symbolizing our old separate lives. We combined our sand in a new jar, leaving behind our old lives and starting a new life together while Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" played in the back ground. We exchanged rings, said a prayer with the minister, and kissed as husband and wife. The backdrop of the sea, the small yet familiar crowd looking on, and the gorgeous Mexican afternoon will live forever in my memory. We toasted champagne right there on the beach, Bob Marley in the back ground:

I wanna love you and treat you right; I wanna love you every day and every night:We'll be together with a roof right over our heads; We'll share the shelter of my single bed; We'll share the same room, yeah! - for Jah provide the bread. Is this love - is this love - is this love - Is this love that I'm feelin'? Is this love - is this love - is this love -Is this love that I'm feelin'?

The day was incredible. Photos, a dinner reception, delicious vanilla wedding cake and pure love filled our evening. I was able to squeeze in a much needed hour nap between dinner and our party at the outside bar. All the the excitement of the day exhausted me, but I didn't want it to end. I napped in my wedding gown without disrupting my hair or makeup.

We spent 4 days with family and friends at Azul Beach Hotel. Those days were filled with love and support, celebration and relaxation. I wouldn't have changed anything about our wedding experience and feel truly blessed for having been able to share it with those who attended. Although not everyone dear to us was able to make it, we skyped the ceremony so loved ones back in the states could share in our special day.

Our wedding was perfect.