Complete Slaker

Generally I average about 7 posts a month. In April I wrote one. Yup- one measly little blog. So today I play catch up. I'm going to catch you up on my April, and why I've spend so much time away from this blog. This is going to be a marathon post...so I apologize in advance.

First I spent some time in early April at a Digital Dealer Conference in Orlando. I didn't find the trip to be as educational as it was last year and don't see myself attending in the future. There were some good take aways that I plan to implement in my department. But first I have to dig through my pages of notes and get it all straightened out in my head!

While in Orlando, my co-worker and I decided to find cool local places to eat. We had attempted the first night and drove 15 minutes only to learn the cool local place that everyone loved so much was only open until 7. We ended up having dinner at Chipotle instead. So the next night we were more thorough with our search and headed out feeling confident. We made it to Julie's in about 20 minutes. Although the tacky entrance made us a bit hesitant, once we got inside we knew we found the perfect spot.

We enjoyed a nice dinner on the water, and even watch dusk roll in.

After sending 3 days in Orlando the workload had piled up back in the office. The next days were spent working late and playing catch-up. But it all paid off mid-month when I met my sister in Tampa for our first cruise!

The view of Tampa from the ship

Melissa aboard the Jewel of the Seas

I don't have many pictures from the cruise because I was terrified of international charges and kept my cell phone off. Instead, we used my step mom's digital camera and I've yet to receive any of the photos.

We cruised on the Royal Caribbean ship Jewel of the Seas. It was a 5 day cruise to Costa Maya and Cozumel. We had a blast. While on the ship we visited the gym, read a lot, napped in the sun, spent some time in the pool, ate whenever we felt like it, and made so incredible friends. While docked we took advantage of the excursions and did a jungle hike and toured the Mayan Ruins. Sure, we got completely soaked while in Costa Maya (it rained the ENTIRE time) but it was totally worth it.

When we got back to Tampa I flew back to Philly with my sister to be Matron of Honor in one of my oldest friends weddings! Shayna and I have been friends since we were about 7 or 8 years old and I love that I was able to be part of her special day! Unfortunately she wasn't able to make it to my wedding (as many people couldn't because it was in Mexico), so being there for her really meant a lot to me.

We had to hustle to make it from the airport to the rehearsal dinner and ended up being about 40 minutes late :/ But the feeling of the wedding and the attitude of the bride was very relaxed and no one seemed to mind very much. Everything went absolutely perfect the next day and the wedding was beautiful. More details and photos to come!!

So after missing work for an entire week I was one again SLAMMED when I got back in the office (hence the reason I'd been absent from this blog). The remainder of my April was consumed with my full-time job, working to meet some goals on my new home-based business (which I will explain more in my next post), and making sure to still eat healthy and squeeze in my workouts. April was a whirlwind for me, but a very exciting one. May looks to be amazing and I can't wait to blog about it along the way.

Shenanigans

I'm proud to say that in just a few weeks I'll be the matron of honor for one of my oldest friends, Shayna Samero (soon-to-be Shayna Numbers). Shayna and I have been friends since were were about 5 or 6 years old. Sam, Jen and I happily planned her bridal shower and bachelorette, mostly via email, and it surprisingly went off without a hitch! Below are some photos documenting Shayna's day before "the big day."

The cake and cake pop party favors by Sara's Homemade Sweets

A zebra striped cake for the girl obsessed with animal prints

Quite the turn-out

A mostly healthy spread

Jennifer and I

Shayna with the only boy allowed at the party

Bridal Shower Purse Game

Me and my sisters <3

Bridesmaids!

Bride and her maids!

PRESENTS!

Everything about the day was a success. I was nervous planning everything form so far away and with women I had never met. But Sam and Jen turned out to be totally reliable, not to mention a ton of fun. Everyone had a wonderful time at the shower.

After cleaning up it was time to prepare for the Bachelorette party. We headed back to my Dads to freshen up. It wasn't long before our designated driver showed up (my bff Ryan agreed to drive us around in exchange for some quality time) and we were on our way to Philly. We decided to take Shayna to a popular bowling alley in center city Philadelphia called Lucky Strikes.

Ryan and I

Before heading to the city

Bowling was fun but, quite honestly, I suck and it was overpriced. We played for an hour then walked to Good Dog, an incredible little pub I've visited once or twice and have always had a good time in. We were fortunate enough to meet a rugby team who happily supplied us with drinks all night. Cheers mates!

It was slightly after midnight when our bride-to-be started showing signs of intoxication and we decided to head back to the suburbs. I think we all made it into bed by 2am feeling very satisfied with the evening. Unfortunately I was having so much fun that I didn't snap a single photo.

The next morning I enjoyed breakfast with everyone at my dads, including bloody mary's, before catching my flight back to SC. It may have been a quick one but this PA trip was action packed!

Friendship 101: Ladies

Recently I've been feeling quite disconnected from the female world. I'm a manager in a male-dominated industry, most of my closest friends are men and I'm into a lot of man hobbies. I'm not a tom-boy, though I'll admit I was when I was a kid. But just because I was a tom-boy doesn't mean I was good at sports (usually the two go hand-in-hand)...cause I'm not. I'm okay.  As a matter if fact I wanted to play football when I was a kid and they told me I couldn't because I was a girl. They recommended cheerleading for football since I liked the sport. So I put on the skirt and picked up the pom-poms and loved it. I found it physically demanding, challenging and fun. I can go on and on about it but I'll save that for another post. This post is dedicated to my relationships with women, and where they began to crumble.

So back to my story:

Even though my regular attire in elementary school was a t-shirt and Umbro shorts with sneakers and my hair in a pony tail, I still loved the rare occasions to get dressed up. I liked looking pretty and I loved the extra attention I got when I did.

I guess my childhood low-maintenance tendencies have stayed with me all of my life. I don't like taking longer than 30 minutes to get ready. If I try on more than 2 outfits I get stressed and will most likely end up sitting on my closet floor overwhelmed (or curled up on my closet floor in the fetal position). If my make-up takes me more than 5 minutes I better be getting ready for a photo shoot and I honestly do not own a brush. I have 1 comb which I usually only need when my hair is wet.  Still, I do love those rare occasions to slip on a tight dress with some nice heels (nice meaning they cost more than $20), curl my hair and spend 10 minutes doing my make up. Just like I did when I was little, I like looking pretty. I just don't like all the work that has to go into it. I never know how to put outfits together and am completely intimidated by trying to figure out accessories. On the rare occasion I do find a complete outfit that works for me, I'll wear it over and over until something gets a stain or a hole and my husband is threatening to burn it. I'm fashionably inept.

So why am I explaining to you my fashion woes? Because it's one of the few things I can come up with for why I don't have many girlfriends.

I have my older sister, who is my closest friend in the world, and about 5 or 6 girlfriends I've had for years that will always be my friends. I met all of these women during different times in my life- they are in no way a "circle." Most women I know have a circle of friends, whether from high school or college, that has remained loyal and intact. I was in one of those once. Several times actually. But somehow I always end up outside of that circle, learning about marriages and babies on Facebook and leaving a comment here or there. We're Facebook friends, not girlfriends.

Currently there are several women in my life that I do consider a group, bunch or circle of friends. They live in the area and we see each other a lot. The weird thing is that we (for the most part) don't call each other with problems, make plans to do things just the 2 of us, make plans to do things as a group....we're just not that "close." Sometimes I feel like I'd never see them if their husband didn't call my husband to make plans. Is it my fault that we don't have that tight girly bond that seems to be so normal and common? I've even read that their are biological and psychological reasons why women hang in groups (like going back to our caveman days to better care for our offspring).  Why am I so different?

Perhaps it's that I never feel completely accepted and therefore to them I don't seem completely available. Or maybe it's because I don't have any interesting drama to bring into the mix. I mean, I have my own personal issues that I would certainly share with a close girlfriend, but I don't have any gossip and I don't talk about people behind their backs. I'm not suggesting that this is all that women do but let's be real- it happens. If anything I like to give my friends the benefit of the doubt and be the rational one. Maybe people don't like rational. Is it that I'm fashionably retarded and always wear the same 6 pairs of shoes?

Regardless of what it is it's there and has been there all my life. I don't really need a solution to it. However,  I would like to know if there's something I can change to better show the women I care about that I value them in my life. I would like to know if there's something that's classifying me as not friend-worthy that I can change.  Why is it I can pal around with the boys and not the girls? Is there some kind of class I can take that'll teach me how to be a more desirable girlfriend? Friendship 101?

One Week Down- Not Feelin' the Love

I have to say, the first week of my "wellness challenge" has been difficult. I've replaced my evening glass of wine with evening chocolate, which I'm already seeing the effects from. This week I'm going to focus on making healthy substitutions. A hot cup of tea or a walk with my dogs is a much better alternative. I figure if I force myself to do this each night it will become my new routine to replace my old bad habits. This week is dedicated to habit breaking.

I went out on Saturday night and stayed strong while friends had drinks. We talked and laughed and I found it surprisingly easy to keep sipping on water all night long. I almost caved and ordered a glass of wine after dinner while my friends all enjoyed an after dinner drink, but I reminded myself that I wasn't ready to face the challenge of drinking without smoking. The fear of smoking kept me with a full glass of water. We were home and in bed my midnight which was awesome. Doug and I are not strangers to late nights. I hate staying up super late because we inevitably waste the next morning sleeping in. Instead we were up by 8:30, making coffee and taking the dogs for a nice long golf course walk. The day started off wonderfully!

After walking I putzed around the house and then headed into work for a few hours. I actually enjoy working on Sundays because I am able to get a lot done with very few interruptions. I left by 3pm and made it to my friends by 4 to watch football with  the gang. We ate some delicious crab legs, salad, bean dip and wings. I think I noshed for 3 hours straight.

Kyle, Evie and Rhys during the game

As the night went on it became increasingly difficult to be the sober one. A few of my friends got drunk and felt the need to tell me that I've been acting "different." With little more explanation than that I tried to suck back my hurt feelings and exit gracefully. Yes, I've been busy. I haven't been coming around as much b/c we've had out-of-town plans on the weekends or I've had other commitments. I also spent a weekend on the sofa/in bed with a rotten cold. I've refused 2 or 3 nights out with friends because I needed to get up early the next morning for marathon training. Dragging Doug away after only 2 beers is a difficult task, and he usually ends up upset with me and telling me I'm no fun. So rather than dealing with disappointing him and being dubbed the "party pooper" I've opted not to go. I still made it out for Mexican with friends 2 weeks ago and hung out both Saturday and Sunday this weekend. So I'm not sure why all the criticism. I'm still me, It's just been a little busy for me lately.

I felt hurt last night and came home and cried. Instead of feeling like I had the support of my friends for doing something healthy I felt the opposite: I'm no fun. I'd like to make it clear that up until the last 20 minutes of the night, when these conversations happened, I was having fun. I was laughing with friends, playing with the kids, yelling at the TV... What I really find odd is that my friend Emily hasn't been drinking either (she's 8 months pregnant) and neither does her mother-in-law who was also hanging out with us. Why is it so interesting that I'm not drinking? Why does it even matter? And it's not like I was broadcasting this fact. I had a beverage in hand all night long to prevent from having to turn an alcoholic one down.

Needless to say I'm feeling discouraged with this challenge. On the ride home my mother-in-law gave me a few words of encouragement. it helped but I still feel like I need the support of my husband and friends. I'm going to keep going because I want to kick my social smoking habit, despite the hurt feeling. Truth is I may be a bit overly emotional right now because in addition to not smoking I'm also PMS-ing. Is that do much info??

 Any advice on how to get my friends and family on my team?

Taking Time to Reflect

As I walked down Stump Rd. in Pipersville, PA this morning I wasn't chilled by the fall PA air or dreading the wind in my face (though it's much colder than I'm used to these days). Instead I was warmed with the familiarity of the sun rising over the field adjacent to the neigborhood where I spent my teenage years and delighted at the brown leaves whipping at my feet. This was the route I walked to my bus stop with my sister hundreds of times. It feels good to be home.

The only thing that would make the trip better was if Doug was able to take it with me. This is the first Thanksgiving we've spent apart in years.

I made the trip from my sunny SC home back to PA to celebrate Thanksgiving with my families (yes, I have many) late Tuesday night. A co-worker of mine and I loaded up her Altima and took the 11-hour trip together. The time went surprisingly fast and our excitement to go home (Bucks County, PA for me and Long Island for her) only grew with each mile we traveled. We had one or two interesting encouters on the way, but for the most part the drive went well. Kelly dropped me off at a Dunkin' Donuts in Bordentown, NJ where I arranged to meet my Dad.

Kelly and I parted ways, she continued on to NY, and I caught up with my Dad over a cup of coffee. After only getting 2 hours of sleep in the car I had that auto-pilot feeling...when you're not exactly sure how you keep on going but you just do. We drove up route 29, along the Delaware River, which looked mostly unchanged to me since the last time I drove it with my sister 4 or 5 years ago. Memories came back all along the drive. After 30 minutes we reach my Dads where I relaxed with my little sister for the rest of the afternoon. I was so exhausted I wanted to keep it low key. We ordered in Chinese. After dinner my Dad and I met up with my Uncle mark for a drink at a new bar in the area, Blondies Sports Bar and Grille. This location is brand new, so they don't have the website up yet. They also have a location in AZ and NV. We decided to check it out because two of the owners are old friends of my Dads.

I tried to hit the sack early because packet pick-up for my 5-mile Turkey Trot was at 8am. It was a beautiful race! I ran with my sister-in-law, uncle, cousin, and close family friend. We celebrated with Bloody Mary's afterward.

Next on the agenda was the highlight of the day: EATING! I enjoyed a traditional Thanksgiving meal with my grandmother, mother, sister, and my mother's boyfriend Scott.

After dinner I had plenty of time to reflect on what I'm thankful for:

My wonderful husband, Doug, who makes me laugh everyday and has an incredible way of dealing with me when I'm stressed or overwhelmed.

My family who loves me unconditionally. It's gigantic and there's no way I can picture everyone but here's a shot of some of them at our wedding.

My wonderful friends I've met along the way

My kids (and others)

Having my health and the ability to stay in shape and run

My marriage, which is better than I ever dreamed.

I have so many blessings in my life <3. I'm looking forward to the Stewart Thanksgiving tonight and a wedding tomorrow. More fun to come!