Sometimes The Smallest Things Take Up the Most Room in Your Heart

As you can see from my lack of blogging, the last trimester of my pregnancy was a bit busy. With working hard at my job, staying fit and going to the gym, frequent doctor's visits, preparing our home for the baby and having guests, little time was left over to sit down and reflect on all my twenty-something changes. But right now, my daughter is laying on her father's chest in the next room and I have a moment to reflect: to sit at my laptop with my coffee and think about my little blessing in the next room. Actually, I have more than a little blessing. I have a big happy family that I have no idea how I deserve: a husband, a stinky dog named Karma, and hyper mutt named Pepper, my orange cat Senor Gato, and my beautiful daughter Olivia. Since she was born 16 days ago, not a day goes by that I don't recognize how lucky I am. I don't take a single moment for granted. 

So, how about a quick recap for those of you who didn't get my weekly updates via email about my baby's development? In the last weeks of my pregnancy, Olivia was healthy and putting on weight like a champ! She moved around a lot and I still felt good enough to do my fair share of moving. I worked out up until the day before Olivia was born. At my last weigh in I was up 35 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. Everything else with my health was superb as well. I'd spent months learning the HypnoBabies technique for managing pain and having a natural childbirth. I also read a lot of books and did a ton of research. Needless to say, much the same as I handled my pregnancy, I was prepared and ready for labor. I knew the right questions to ask, I knew what I would and would not allow and I had a birth partner who knew what my needs were and was prepared to be my advocate!

My baby was due on Dec 5th. On Dec 4th I was having mild contractions sporadically (I didn't even know I was having them until the doc put me on a fetal monitor). This lasted for 2 days, and each day we thought for sure I'd be heading to the hospital. But labor didn't really progress for me. I had a consistent pain in my back that never got better or worse. I tried walking, zumba, running up and down the stairs, having sex, spicy food...nothing made it speed up. So on Dec 6th my doctor recommended she break my water. I didn't want to have any interference with my natural labor, but after 2 days of waiting I was ready for this little bit of assistance. We checked into the hospital (where the L&D department had been on stand-by for me for 2 days) at 3pm, and my water was broken by 3:30pm. Within 30 minutes I was having consistent and progressively stronger contractions. Fourteen hours later we welcomed Olivia Anne Stewart into the world.

Olivia hours after birth

I spent those 14 hours managing my contractions naturally. Because I opted to not have any drugs, I was able to move around the room however I needed and even sit in a hot shower (which I did twice). During this time Doug did whatever I asked him to do, from rubbing my back to feeding me ice chips.  He was incredible, and I honestly don't think I could have done it without him.

The nursing staff at Hilton Head Hospital was great! During my labor I had 3 different nurses tending to me. Two in the early hours (their shift ended at 7pm) and then one who stayed with us through the night.  Everyone was incredibly supportive of my decision to give birth naturally, and I received many compliments and positive feedback.

I'll spare you the gory details of the delivery, though I am extremely proud and happy to share if you have any questions. Yes, it hurt and yes, it was hard. But I could feel everything my body was doing and knew exactly how it was working to bring my daughter closer to being in my arms. I understood the changes my body was going through and am amazed at how effectively it works. My body is designed to give birth, and it's not something we women should be afraid of. Our bodies are amazing.

As soon as Olivia came out I couldn't think of anything else but her. It didn't matter that the doctor was still tending to my body. I had a precious little girl in my arms, 7 lbs and 13 oz, and that was all that mattered. Within minutes she latched onto my breast, making me feel even more proud of what she and I can and did accomplish together. When the cord was done pulsating Doug proudly cut it. Shortly after the nurse took her to be cleaned and examined and I fell into the deepest sleep I've ever had.

Olivia Anne, who we have nicknamed Libby, was born on December 7th at 5:50am. During my last hour of pushing, I told Dr. Blessit I wanted to have her before 6am. She said it was far fetched, but possible if I tried hard enough. I hit my goal with 10 minutes to spare! Minutes after Olivia was born, Dr. Blessit told me she was impressed by how well I handled it and she had a tremendous amount of respect for me. I already felt proud, but the support and compliments I received from everyone around me afterward made me feel like a rock star!

The next 24 hours was tough: my body was healing and I was exhausted. But by Saturday morning I felt good enough to go home. The nurses and doctor checked on me and Libby regularly and were pleased with our recovery. We were able to go home a day early.

Doug took off the next week and we spent time learning how to care for our baby and getting into a routine. In my opinion we were both very calm for first-time parents and got the hang of it quickly.

Milk Drunk

I look at her in complete amazement every day. We created this tiny little person. Her sweet face, tiny hands, soft skin..... I catch myself just staring at her throughout the day. I kiss her more than I've ever kissed anyone. It's hard to explain the feelings that I have for her and the joy I feel as a parent. I've heard other parents talk about it before, and nodded as if I understood. Now I know. You can't possibly understand until you hold your child. It's a completely foreign yet comforting experience. There's a mixture of love, joy, pride, and overwhelming emotion every time I look at her.

2 weeks old

Having my baby is the best thing I've ever done.

You Are What Happened When I Wished Upon a Star

You can imagine that news of having a baby is seriously life altering. But for some reason, the impact is so much more now that I know that she is a little girl. It's not more impactful simply because she is a girl, but it does feel more solidified and real just knowing her sex. That may sound silly to most, but knowing what she is allows me to picture her growing up. I daydream about her, what she'll look like, what sports she'll play, and her little voice calling me mommy.

I often think about how I'm really the only one who knows her right now. And she knows me. She knows  my voice, my touch, my breaths.... I know when she's sleeping and I swear the little peanut actually starts kicking me when she's hungry. And the craziest thing about all this is that no one else understands or can possibly appreciate what all of this means to me. It's deeply personal that only she and I understand.

The very first baby item I bought, when I was just 7 or 8 weeks along, was a Google onsesie. I was on my first trip to California to visit the Google Campus in Mountain View. At this point very few people knew about my pregnancy. I shared the info with my co-worker, Jill, and she happily snapped a picture of me and the onesie. I actually ended up buying a cuter one with cookie monster on it.

A few months later I did buy my first girlie item: a hot pink diaper cover with ruffles with a hot pink headband to match. I've also bought a few cloth diapers, some warmer clothing items, and some decorative items for her room. I'm not the best at decorating, and Doug says her room looks to cluttered. But we've been blessed with so many fantastic hand-me-downs that she already has so much stuff!!!

Decoration Idea

I actually started writing this post back in September. It's now November 16th and I have just 19 days left until my due date. I've been neglecting this blog, my household chores, sleep....but it's all worth it. You see, in just a few weeks I will have a daughter. She will completely change my life and I'll be in charge of shaping hers. She'll come into this world knowing that she needs me. And I already know how badly I need her. So all this hard work, long hours, doctors appointments, household changes and preparation will pay off. We'll have a family- Me, Doug, Baby Girl, Karma, Pepper and Senior Gato. Quite the full house, huh?

I'll leave you with a sneak peak of our maternity shoot we had 2 weeks ago. I haven't seen the rest of the photos yet and simply can't wait! I'll also follow up with a few other posts about cloth diapering, my health and wellness during pregnancy, and some other baby-related items. Thanks for the support!

The Transformation Thus Far

I'm cleaning out some photos on my phone and would like to share my transformation so far. It's hard to believe how much my body has changed and that I will continue to get bigger over the next 3 months! And even more amazing is that this is what I'm designed to do and I will bounce back! Incredible, right? I'm proud of my healthy baby belly and the little girl growing inside me. More updates to come! Her nursery is almost complete and every day plans are being made for her, items being bought, names being discussed....

5 weeks pregnant

27 weeks pregnant

Quite the transformation so far! Looking back I can't believe I didn't think I had a flat stomach. This experience is certainly going to change my body image in the future!

Travel Bucket List

There have been many conversations in the Stewart household about all the amazing and ambitious things we want to do with our lives. We've accomplished a lot so far, but we both have an insatiable desire to do it all, see it all, and be the best. So although at times it feels like a curse because, realistically, you just can't accomplish it all, I do enjoy being a dreamer. My dreams always get bigger, progress with my life, and push me to do better.

This weekend Doug and I are at Sebring International Raceway. Doug was in FL earlier in the week for an Audi track event (this lucky man got to spend 2 days racing Audi's for work...life is tough), so he planned a head and trailered his Porsche down. After 2 days in West Palm with Audi we met up in Sebring so he could spend 2 days driving on one of the most famous tracks in the US. Please let me add that this is immediately following a three day weekend in which he drove his Audi at Virginia International Raceway.

We're having a great time and meeting interesting people. In this racing community there are a lot of Europeans, which reminds me how badly I want to travel to Europe. I wanted to travel everywhere, really (see an older blog post about this). I decided to finish this blog, which I actually started 2 months ago, about my all the places I want to see before I die. I'm sure this list will grow, and I may be leaving out some pretty important places already. There's just so much and I want to take it all in! So I figure, by putting it down I'm making some sort of a commitment. I can read this later and feel good knowing I'm crossing some things off.


First, let's start with the places that are at my disposal in the US. According to Budget Travel these are the 20 places every American should see in their lifetime (I have crossed through places I have already visited):


1. Grand Canyon

2. Yellowstone National Park

3. Highway 1, California

4.
Magic Kingdom (Orlando, Florida)

5.
Times Square, New York City

6. Las Vegas Strip

7. Hollywood Walk of Fame

8. South Beach (Miami, Florida)

9. French Quarter (New Orleans, Louisiana)

10.
Gettysburg National Military Park

11. Nashville, Tennessee

12.
National Mall, Washington, D.C.

13.
Independence National Historical Park (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

14. Taos Pueblo, New Mexico

15. Fenway Park (Boston, Massachusetts)

16. Civil Rights District (Atlanta, Georgia)

17. Architecture in Chicago, Illinois

18. Pearl Harbor

19. Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York City

20.
Ellis Island, New Jersey



Outside the US I'd like to visit the below places. Please keep in mind that this limited list is based off of what I've heard, seen online, seen on TV etc. I'm sure with a little more research it will change and grow. The places in BOLD are the places I'm sure will be completed, either because I have a friend with a home there, plans are already in the works, or it's simply an easier trip to plan.

1. Plitvice National Park in Croatia

2. Meteora, Greece

3. Rome, Italy

4. Southern France (particularly during the Le Mans 24 Hour Race)

5. Amsterdam

6. Berlin

7. Paris

8. Hiking in Switzerland

9. Albanian Riviera

10. Lake Geneva

11. London

12. Barcelona

13. Budapest

14. Alaska

15. Bali

16. Egypt

17. Venice

18. Thailand

19. The Gold Coast in Australia

20. Prague

21. Yangtze River, China

22. Beijing

23. Tibet

24. Mount Fuji

25. Honduras

26. Quebec

27. Mazinaw Lake, Ontario

28.  The Glapagos Islands, Ecuador

29. Buenos Aires, Argentina

30. Paraty, Brazil


Quite the list, right? I have a lifetime to work on checking things off! Are there any places you feel like you MUST see in your life?

Sweet Healthy Bites

A few days ago I wanted a quick and sweet treat, but I wanted it to be healthier than grabbing a cookie out of the cookie jar. Let's face it, it's easy to get carried away when you're pregnant and have something to blame the extra weight on. And since my pre-pregnancy cravings have always involved sugar, it's no surprise that my during pregnancy cravings do as well.

I follow a blog, Purely Twins, written by 2 twins in NC who are dedicated to healthy living, fitness, and some really interesting food. I say really interesting because MANY of their recipes involve ingredients I don't have in my house, and some I've never even heard of. But they are healthy, usually gluten free, sometimes raw, and the photos make them  look delicious. They even have cookie and donut recipes! A friend of mine is vegan, so I forward her a lot of the vegan recipes they post. But again, since many of the ingredients are not common in my household I've yet to try many of their dishes.  I finally came across one recipe that I found a link to on their blog that seemed easy enough for me and it only has 4 ingredients:

Raw Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Balls

I didn't save the link to the recipe and I'm not having a hard time finding the exact one that I used (though there are a TON of variations). The recipe I followed had 1 scoop of chocolate protein powder,  natural peanut butter, cocoa, and organic honey. That's it. I mixed it all together then rolled 4 balls by hand. Simple and super fast! I ate one immediately and refrigerated the other 3 for later. They made a great addition to my morning breakfast for the next few days. I'm sure I will be making these delicious little balls more often :)

Amazing friends, Delicious Cake and a Good Cause!

As I sit in my office, sipping on my decaf coffee (with almond milk and stevia) I can't help but feel overwhelmingly blessed today. Even with this Jack Russel/Pug mix wining and jumping into my lap every 5 minutes (more on that later), and even though I'm incredibly sleepy and probably should have stayed in bed another hour, I feel happy, loved, and complete.

Meet William

Let me tell you, those are incredible feelings. I was fortunate enough to be able to take 2 days off to celebrate my birthday. Yesterday was productive and relaxing at the same time. I woke up to my first birthday text (love you, Ryan!) and they just kept rolling in all day long. I was able to take the 9 am spin class, followed by a 9:30 am boot camp class, which I never get to do b/c of my work schedule. It was an awesome workout and I was able to keep up despite my growing belly! I then stopped by my favorite local coffee shop for a free latte (decaf, vanilla soy) and enjoyed it at home while catching up on some work and buying some much needed baby items online (thank you gift cards!).  I also made an incredible egg white, black bean, tomato, bell pepper, avocado and spinach breakfast wrap. YUMMY!

A shot of me at the gym. Check out that baby bump!

After purchasing a new crib mattress, crib mattress cover and curtains for our little girls room, I feel like things are finally coming together. We got her bedding the other day from Serena and Lilly (and I am obsessed with how adorable it is), her towels from The Land of Nod, and some more awesome hand-me-downs from our friends Emily and Tracy. Her dresser/changing table also arrived on my doorstep yesterday. Once I find curtain rods and some wall decor her room should be all set! I now totally get nesting. Any empty room is being turned into a nursery, a room where we will spend a lot of time nurturing, nursing and caring for our daughter. I'm turning into a mother, and Doug is turning into a father. Together we are transforming from partners into parents. The transformation of this room, then, takes on some significant meaning.

So after working on some nursery decorating and wrapping up some work, I started to get excited about a fundraiser later that evening at the Bluffton Oyster Company. The event, where all proceeds benefited the Palmetto Animal League (an organization that I occasionally volunteer with and support greatly), was a big outdoor party on the water with food, drinks, live music and great people. We all brought our dogs, PAL dogs came wearing their "Adopt Me" vests, and luckily the weather held out. But this event turned into much more than I expected. Doug invited all our close friends, set up a special tent just for us and turned it into a birthday surprise!! I had no idea he was planning something and was so touched.

Quite the successful fundraiser!

It was great spending time with all my friends (and Karma and Pepper) and knowing each of us was contributing to a good cause. Our best man Nick even drove all the way down from Washington D.C. with his dog Willie for the event. We enjoyed an AMAZING cake from my favorite bakery, Ronnie's, and had a wonderful evening.

A little baby girl for the mom-to-be

Adorable Footprints!

I'm so thankful for having a thoughtful husband and such incredible friends. As usual, I only wish I had taken some photos! T0 top it all off, I also had my cubicle at work decorated on Thursday and received a sweet audio clip via email of my niece wishing me a happy birthday(I tried to add it so you could hear how adorable it is but had some trouble). All the love is almost overwhelming! But the celebration doesn't end there. We're spending a relaxing day on the water today and hopefully picking up the Hunger Games DVD tonight! I still haven't seen the movie which is a sin considering how much I loved the books. Happy Saturday everyone!

Birthday Decorations at Work on Thursday

Babymoon...Wait, baby wha?

Doug and I are certainly not new to the idea of hopping in the car on a Friday night and taking off for a quick weekend trip. We are firm believers that you HAVE to take vacations. What's the point of working so hard if you can't enjoy the time you have off? Now, this isn't to say we don't have our responsible weekends at home. But we do prioritize and work in fun times with each other and friends. It could be a weekend in Asheville, spending the day at the beach or taking the dogs for a hike. Heck, we even flew up to PA for a skiing weekend last winter (which if any of you remember was ruined by us both coming down with the flu). We like adventures.

But from what I understand, these spontaneous and impromptu trips will lessen with the arrival of a new baby. We're certainly not going to become hobbits: I plan to continue to take my dogs and my baby as many places as I can. But in the beginning, our new parenting responsibilities and our financial situation will most likely keep us spending spare time locally and maybe even at home.

It's for this reason that several blogs, magazines and apps have recommended taking a babymoon, A babymoon is a trip you take before the baby comes to relax and spend time with your significant other and whoever else you choose. When I first started thinking about babymoons I wanted to go back to Azul Beach Hotel where were were married for our 2-year anniversary in October. But with the purchase of a new home and our other obligations, I'm afraid the chances of going to Mexico are getting slimmer and slimmer. So instead, I'm thinking we make the most of what we have locally and really cherish the alone time we have together.

Although we both have to work weekends, we're figuring out ways to work it out. For example, I switched a day off with my assistant manager so I can have my birthday (which is on a Friday) off as well as the following Saturday. This way Doug and I can enjoy a nice Friday evening and all Saturday together (hopefully boating!) September is going to be a BUSY month for both of us as well. One thing I'm looking forward to is joining Doug in Sebring for a racetrack weekend. We'll stay in a hotel, enjoy dinner out, and I can catch up on some reading while we are at the track. In October we may be able to stay at a friend's house on Daufuskie Island for a quiet and secluded weekend.

The point is we're planning in advance to make sure we have time for one another and ourselves. We can't just wait for a day to roll around, because it might not. Instead we're scheduling time and trips and looking forward to them! I'm marking days on my calendar to take the dogs to the beach and lay in the sun. I'm squeezing in time with friends that I may not see as much the first few weeks the baby is here. Soon our little girl will be here and our time will be greatly decreased. So now is the time!