Enjoy the Journey

It's a quite Sunday morning, and every being in my house is sleeping. The cat, dogs, husband, sister and our daughter- all peacefully dreaming. I've already woken up early, nursed my daughter, spent play time with her and put her down for a nap. And while she lays in her crib, sleeping with her knees curled up to her chest and her hand covering one eye, I'm doing what I always do. Reflecting. Am I being a good enough mother? Wife? Daughter? Sister? Friend?

Olivia will be five months next week. I can't believe how quickly the time has passed, and will continue to pass. I will blink and the next thing I know we'll be celebrating Olivia's first birthday. All I can do is revel in each beautiful ordinary moment with her. To enjoy our play times on her bedroom floor. To watch her quietly as she studies her hands and feet. I need to be sure and take every opportunity to kiss her naked belly and hear her glorious giggle. This journey will take a lifetime, and every single moment is precious.

Yesterday was the type of day that only a mother can appreciate. It was perfectly ordinary, consisting of nursing, naps, play times, and a trip to the grocery store. There was bath time, "super baby" airplane time,  and tummy time. There were moments when Olivia would stare at my face, mesmerized by my eyes and the way her hand can now intentionally touch my cheeks, chin, nose and mouth (and yes, pull on my hair and anything else within reach). There was no stress, no rushing, no crying, no fighting. There was no mommy guilt. I got to spend the entire day with my baby. Yesterday was blissfully and perfectly ordinary. I loved it.

Our house is filled with genuine effortless love. The kind of loves that fills you up so much you feel it spilling out of you. This is exactly what I have always wanted.

The only thing I can wish for is more time. More time together as a family, not just time with one person while the others are busy. More time to relax and enjoy. More time to reflect and realize how truly blessed we all are. But what can we possibly sacrifice to create more time? When one of you figures it out, please let me in on the secret. Because I've now come to the conclusion that "more time" doesn't exist. We just need to appreciate the time we have now and live in the moment. We need to enjoy the journey every step of the way.

18 Weeks and Counting

It's hard to believe it has already been 18 weeks since we welcomed Olivia into the world. I feel like it was just last week I was learning how to hold her, studying her gently and working on getting the perfect latch. After many short weeks of learning each other Olivia is a healthy almost 14 pound baby. Her floppy head that needed support is now strong and (for the most part) sturdy. Her once tired eyes are now locked in on mine while we play or wildly searching the room for new objects. She responds to her name and has a few favorite songs. Her hands grasp for everything, though her hand-eye coordination still needs a bit of work. At  around 15 weeks she began flirting with me while eating, making eye contact at first and now has moved on to touching my face and having a "conversation" with me in between suckles. Around 16 weeks she found her feet and hasn't lost interest yet. And just last week she rolled over for the first time.
How can my baby girl be changing so quickly?
I know that this is only the beginning of the dramatic transformations we'll be witnessing and am trying my hardest to hold on to every precious moment. I will never look on back these days and regret an extra kiss, or an extra snuggle. I don't want to look back and wish I did more with my daughter. Today is important for both she and I.

Today I will make her feel loved and safe. And every day after today for the rest of my life.