The truth of the matter is that life has kept me busy. What spare time I do have these days is devoted to heading to the gym to makeup for the 3 days I've missed earlier in the week, going to the dump to take the 2 weeks of trash that have piled up in the garage, or sitting on my ass and watching Dexter at 10pm on a work night. I've had no time for me. We've had even less time for us.
Luckily, my work life has been just as busy as his. Big changes are happening at our company and both our jobs have been demanding these past 2 months. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. His recent parallel move in the company is incredibly positive for him! My recent promotion, if that's what you can call it, while bringing home only slightly more money is certainly bringing me closer to the people in my company that count the most. It's safe to say that I'm sacrificing now in hopes it'll pay off later.
I still have my tedious work, am often treated like a peon by higher up managers, and am consistently disrespected professionally. But it's the nature the beast, and I've already decided that if I want to live this SC dream I've gotta make this beast mine.
So as the days get fewer to when we become husband and wife I feel we're getting farther apart. The closeness I expected during this "special" time, the enjoyment I keep hearing abut from family and friends...it just doesn't exist.
I suppose that's not so troubling considering its not our own emotional issues keeping us apart. We're incredibly in love and anxious to be married. It's literal and physical separation at practically all hours of the day. We work 12 hour days, with no phone calls or cute texts. He's busy setting up the new place or up to his elbows in pistons, cylinders and what not- while I'm on the phone, typing away, managing my department, getting interrupted every 5 seconds and being everyone's bitch. There's no time for "I Love You" texts anymore.
When we get home we have a beer, briefly review our days with each other and try to squeeze in whatever chores we can before 9 or 10 pm. If there's time we'll watch a movie or show together and he will undoubtedly fall asleep on the sofa. Getting him of the sofa is like trying to get a politician to stop airing hate commercials about other candidates. It's a no-win battle. Our distance grows as I sleep alone.
Last minute wedding details have been handled on the phone while driving to work, walking to another building and responding to emails on my phone, and texting like a mad woman. What would I do without my smart phone?
We have 20 days until we're married. Most brides would think I'm crazy for paying such little attention to wedding details as we get closer. But it's all planned. We've paid for everything (or at least have charged it and will pay for it later). We've remained relaxed through most of the process b/c having a breakdown would be too easy right now. Twenty more days. Two of those Doug will be in Atlanta for school, and 5 of those he'll be up north for training and a bachelor party. Essentially I have 13 more days to enjoy him as my fiance: to enjoy our hour on the sofa together each day.
I'm ready for Mexico. I'm ready to get away with him and have him all to myself for 9 days. It's the perfect way to start our marriage. Now more than ever I'm happy we're having a destination wedding.
It's Saturday, and I'm not working...which means I have a date with the dump, the gym, my coupon book and the grocery store.
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